It Hurts

I have been afraid to write of love lately. It takes away too much out of me.

Love is the essence of living. And there are days, which these days are most days when I feel it hurts too much to speak of love with careless abandon. I did so once. Perhaps even dared to do it twice. Once all was said done, I was left with a mere shell of my words. 

If I dab my pen too much into love’s ink, it hurts. It hurts when I speak of what I had. It hurts when I speak of what I don’t have. It hurts to look at my empty hands and I realize even my wishes have slipped through my fingers. 
© Romancing Life | 2017

Heart of Steel

I know
you have a big heart.
It’s wounded
but it’s so big.
Bleeding red,
the scarlet ink,
contouring
the map
and length
of your
liquid steel
strength.
You mold,
bend and
twist
with sheer will.
My brave-little
darling,
you can’t fix
it all.
This world
is drowning in
this black hole –
sea of pain
Your ocean-big
heart
can’t possibly
contain it
all.

© 2016 Romancing Life

 

 

Numb – 2

  

Full

Just one of those nights
When you feel like crumbling
Under the weight of the world
Ready to throw in the fight
There is so much pain
So much of it
It’s everywhere
There is no end in sight
My heart is full
So full tonight
I couldn’t possibly feel
Anything, any longer
Even if I tried.

Love Always,
R.

These Tears (1/3)

I never had your love
But I have this pain
Which you gave to me
Not as a parting gift
You brought it along
When you first came into my life
It’s never ending
This pain
It’s Omnipresent
Always there
In the background
Screaming, hurting
Never letting me forget
Reminding me, always repeating
The lessons I’ll never forget

Yet, I can’t recall the number of times
I’ve cried
Cried like a madwoman
The amount of tears that have fallen
Countless tears
Out of these eyes, these poor eyes
Putting the oceans to shame
These tears
They fell unchecked
They fell gently, sometimes rapidly
Flowing into nothingness
Some drying on my cheeks
Some kissing my lips
Always falling, never stopping
These tears

Trying my hand at something new. Let me know what you think.

Love Always,

R.

A Desperate Plea

Come find me
I am so lost
Inside my own mind
Fight my demons
Save my soul
I have tried
And given up
I cannot free myself from the
Darkness that consumes me whole

I can never again be complete
As you cannot mend
A broken glass
Piecing together
Shattered shards
Scattered long ago
Now it seems a pointless task
Just let me go
That’s all I ask

Where Is My Smile?

Where has my smile gone
I don’t remember when I saw it last
Etched into a photo frame or
Replicated in the mirror
The corners of my lips turned upside
The slight dimples on my cheeks deepened
Cheekbones highlighted

Where has my smile gone
What was my crime
For it to have left me bereft of any joy
I have been mourning its loss
Searching the depths of my heart
The secret corners of my mind
I haven’t found it yet

Where has my smile gone
Am I not worthy of it’s presence
Happiness not a part of my stars
I miss the crackle of my laughter
Followed by it’s pleasant visage
I long for a morsel of happiness
That I’ve been deprived of so far

Where has my smile gone
Oh please tell me
Where has my smile gone
I know not where it hides
If you see it in passing
Please return it
So that this forlorn life I may enjoy

Never Home

Thoughts and emotions
Run high and low
As I watch the gentle flame
Burn aglow
A strange atmosphere
Surrounds me
As I scorch in the
Wicked cold
Trying to free myself
From your
Magnetic hold
The attempt is
Futile
That I already know
You have a place
In my heart
But you’re never home

Image Source: http://hqwallbase.com/117880-alone/

A Confused Heart

Pain
Like love you can’t define
You feel it as you do love
Love comes in many forms
In many different wavelengths
And in many different sizes
It always differs
Never quite defined
In the same manner twice

Such is pain
The void in my chest
Is a pain that I cannot describe
I don’t feel a thing
Yet I know somewhere inside
Emptiness resides
Are these two paradoxically the same thing
Feeling empty
Or not feeling anything at all

But I know this
I can’t just get rid of it
This feeling
That may
Or may not exist
It’s haunting presence
Or lack there off
Is eating me up
Hollowing me out

Have you any idea
What I am going on about
If you find yourself confused
Know that you’re in company
Whether good or bad
I cannot say
As confusion takes over
I close my eyes
And just… let it stay

Image By: Ann-McLaren, http://ann-mclaren.deviantart.com/art/Confused-Heart-152975268

Death of a Tear

A lone tear
Escapes through
The barrier of lashes
Into the harsh
Realties
Of this world

To die a death
Most handsome
As it kisses
Thy rosy lips.

Image Source: http://top1walls.com/